


and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart.

by incalyscent



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Alien Courtship Rituals, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Feelings, Fluff, Kissing, Love Confessions, Lowercase, M/M, Minor Original Character(s), Miscommunication, Mission Fic, Mutual Pining, Not Canon Compliant - Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Not Canon Compliant - Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Oh no there's only one bed, a whole pine forest, and forehead touches, god I'm gay, hope y'all like tropes, local poet writes prose, mlm author, no beta we die like men, oh my god they were roommates, so many hand kisses, so much pining, writing star wars fic like it's 2016 and nothing hurts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:27:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22489408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/incalyscent/pseuds/incalyscent
Summary: after finn wakes up, there are things about him that poe notices that he didn’t have time to, before he got hurt.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn
Comments: 38
Kudos: 243





	and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart.

**Author's Note:**

> i carry your heart with me(i carry it in  
> my heart)i am never without it(anywhere  
> i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done  
> by only me is your doing,my darling)  
> i fear  
> no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want  
> no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)  
> and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant  
> and whatever a sun will always sing is you
> 
> here is the deepest secret nobody knows  
> (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud  
> and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows  
> higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)  
>  **and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart**
> 
> i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
> 
> -ee cummings

after finn wakes up, there are things about him that poe notices that he didn’t have time to, before he got hurt.

finn’s bravery extends to food, and social situations, and learning new things in general. and poe really should have expected it, but it’s still overwhelmingly pure to watch glee spread over finn’s handsome face as he tastes something spicy or sweet or sour for the first time, even if he decides he doesn’t like it in the long run, or the face he gives poe when he wins over yet another heart. finn loves with a ferocity that poe knows he did not grow up with. he knows this because he knows that finn loves him, to an extent, just from the warmth in his eyes when he sees him.

here’s the thing; finn has one of the most expressive faces poe has ever seen. it must come from a lifetime of wearing a helmet, but every emotion comes across as clear as day. most of them curl hot like a sun in poe’s chest; the joy and the pleasant surprise; the contentment at the end of the day, when he slips into bed.

it’s also the reason poe can tell that finn spends a lot of time lonely. restless. finn told him once that stormtroopers don’t get downtime. they either die or they don’t; they don’t recover. and once poe finished being  _ furious _ at that bit of information he understands the gentle sullenness that sometimes holds finn by the shoulders, curving him over his plate of lackluster mess hall food. he misses rey. he misses knowing - however poorly - where he exists in the universe.

which is why, when leia tells him he’s going on a relations mission somewhere far from d’qar, poe blurts  _ can i take finn? _ before he can really think about it. she gives him this  _ look _ , and she’s not nearly as easy to read as finn, but it’s part mischief, mostly hope, and just a little bit of tender sadness. love is a bruise that has not quite healed on her.

“if you think he’s up for it,” she says, and poe grins so hard it hurts.

-

poe doesn’t see finn until he turns in later that day, because finn spends many of his waking hours sharing valuable intel with resistance committee. what he knows about the inner workings is valuable, but has an expiration date, now that the first order knows that finn belongs in their ranks. he’s reading a holopad, chewing on his lip, but lifts his head when poe comes in, and his teeth can’t contain the smile that stretches across his face.

(if only the first order had known that finn smiled with the force of ten suns - they wouldn’t have been so bad to him, but poe wouldn’t have been able to feel that warmth either.)

“hey,” finn says. poe bites the inside of his cheek to keep the grin off his face.

“hey, bud.” poe unzips his flight suit halfway, relieved as always when the cooler air rushes in to nestle into his skin. “i’m gonna be going off planet for a few weeks. relations work.”

poe doesn’t laugh when finn looks so  _ sad _ , pursing his lips and looking as much as he can like a kicked puppy. “oh.”

“wanna come?”

finn absolutely lights up, and it’s then that poe allows himself to grin. “really?”

“yeah, if you feel up to it,” poe says, turning to shuffle through drawers for his nightwear. he knows that finn is mostly through physio, but notices pulls of pain on his face from time to time.

“yeah.  _ yeah _ . get me off this rock.”

poe snorts a laugh. he’ll be there to take care of finn, if he needs it, anyways. “alright. we leave tomorrow, so get your beauty rest.”

finn still has a bashful smile on his face by the time poe steps into the fresher to change.

-

they wake up at o’six hundred standard hours, which is too early for poe, which means he spends another good fifteen minutes with a pillow stuffed over his head, mourning sleep and warmth. finn is already packing, because he’s not used to getting an allotted eight hours for it and often wakes up after his usual six, no matter what time he went to sleep.

so after a little while finn throws a pillow at poe and says  _ get up! _ in a voice practically vibrating with excitement, and that rejuvenates poe enough that he musters up the energy to fling the blankets off of himself and press his feet to the cold floor.

“‘m up.”

“in body, but not in spirit.”

poe laughs, rough with sleep, and runs and hand through his hair in some lackluster attempt to tame it. “you know me so well, buddy.”

the merits of always sleeping in are few and far between, but it does mean he’s significantly faster than finn at packing, if a little more haphazard. either way, poe makes sure he’s paying attention when finn slips his jacket on, feeling the increasingly familiar way his stomach flips at the sight. he switches to a sunny smile when he is caught staring, one in which finn has no qualms returning. it just makes the tightness in poe’s chest worse.

by the time they make it to the hangar they’re already late and the general is there to brief poe again, and she raises an eyebrow.

“you’re late.”

“my fault,” poe says, craning his neck to look at the ship assigned.  _ black one _ was a bit too conspicuous these days, same as bb-8, who would not be coming with them, much to the little droid’s disappointment. it’s a fairly nondescript freighter, certainly no  _ falcon _ , but it would do the job nicely.

finn busies himself loading up all their stuff while he runs through the mission (if it could even be called that) with leia. he was going to spark relations with the locals and leaders, and set up the beginnings of a negotiation to set up a new base.

“and you’re sure you don’t need threepio to translate?” she asks as he tries to sidestep her to get to the ship.

“nah, uhpi is close enough to yavanese that i shouldn’t have any issues,” he responds. leia gives him a small, slow nod, her eyes sparkling.

“be careful.” there’s maybe a module of concern in her eyes that poe isn’t used to. he shifts back to her, and presses a kiss to her cheek, before he’s off and up the ramp into the ship.

-

it doesn’t take long for them to achieve lift off with poe’s seasoned hand at the controls. he sends off the transmission before jumping to hyperspace. finn’s sharing his space, sitting in the copilot seat even if he doesn’t need to be, face turned to the vastness of space through the transparisteel.

“hey poe?”

“yeah?”

“where are we going?”

poe laughs, and finn joins him, soft and patient. they may have been a bit hasty in clamoring aboard. “uhpi. it’s a little bit closer to ahch-to than the d’qar base. apparently a popular destination spot.”

“sounds nice.”

“yeah, hopefully everything pans out and we can just relax.”

finn hums his assent, and then lets them lapse into companionable silence. when finn nods off against the back of his seat, poe doesn’t say anything about it.

-

finn wakes up again when they drop out of hyperspace, and poe toggles the comms to open and announces their arrival. he gets a response almost instantaneously, a friendly voice welcoming them home. poe is grinning as he ducks the ship under a layer of pearly white clouds, aware of finn staring at the side of his face.

“you speak the language?”

poe gives a little shrug. “close enough. it’s a sister language to my mother tongue.”

“we didn’t learn anything other than basic,” finn says quietly. poe is hit with a sudden lurch of wanting, not for himself, but for finn. a lurch filled with simmering hatred for an organization that could strip all things from someone so soft, so wide-eyed, and not even have the ability to put any of them back.

“well, you can learn another whenever you want now, if you want,” poe says, carefully keeping his voice even. he sees finn perk in his seat.

“yeah, i guess you’re right,” finn says, before he’s looking out the porthole again. “wow.”

uhpi comes into view, and maybe poe should be paying a little more attention to flying but watching the wonder cross finn’s face as they glide over salt flats that show them the belly of the ship, so reflective with recent rain that it’s like a mirror with no end. those slope gently into mountains made of rainbows of soil; bands of red and white and rich, fertile brown, cold grey. poe banks gently left and the mountains sink away into dense, dense jungle for as far as they can see, a fathomless blanket of green, trees tall enough that it seems like they can touch them, if they could just stick their hands out from the ship.

“it’s beautiful,” finn says, and if poe isn’t looking at the scenery when he says  _ yeah, it is _ , that’s for him to know.

-

when finn’s feet hit the ground, it is soft and yielding beneath his feet. it’s  _ hot _ , but not like jakku. it’s hot and humid, so much that finn feels a little damp with it, but poe gets off the ship right after him and takes a deep lungful of sweet-smelling air with his eyes shut, and that’s enough for finn to appreciate the weather, even if only for a little while.

they’re greeted by many curious people, peering at them and their ship. they stand a respectable distance away, until one breaks from the crowd and makes their way towards them. they blink their big, black eyes, transparent eyelid sliding across their eyes slow and plaintive. they curl a clawed hand into a fist and put it to the center of their chest, off-white scales gleaming in the harsh sun, and tip their head back and close their eyes. poe copies them, and finn copies poe, and it’s only then does their host make a little trill in the back of their throat and begins to speak.

“this is the ambassador, reasavi,” poe translates easily, before sliding easily into a language that rolls off his tongue like water off velvet. and maybe finn stares, because it’s amazing, and impressive, so he only really snaps back into himself when poe says his name and touches the back of his hand. reasavi stares at that point of contact for a moment, before they earnestly ask poe a question, one that has poe rocking back on his heels and scrunching his brow for a moment, but he still responds all the same.

reasavi cracks a smile, sharp incisors of black in forest green gums, before thy lean back to whisper in the earhole of one of their companions. she lifts a hand to her mouth and giggles, before she turns and ushers a few other uhpi in the opposite direction. reasavi splays their hands, fingers bending back just a bit more than finn’s would comfortably, and poe nods agreeably when they finish speaking.

“hey,” poe says to finn, hushed, “they say we should get our stuff off the ship, and then they’re gonna show us some hospitality, and then we’ll get shown where we’re staying.”

finn nods. “alright. i hope hospitality means food, ‘cause i’m starving.”

poe chuckles, and then goes a little quiet. “gotta say -” poe watches the ambassador turn and leave, giving a charming smile all the while - “i think the language barrier is a little bit taller than i anticipated.”

finn nudges his shoulder with his own. “i’m sure we’ll be fine.” 

poe smiles, and then gives finn’s hand a brief squeeze. “yeah, we’ll be okay.”

-

the uhpi dining hall is less of a hall and more of a marvel of nature; the trunks of great, white trees curved into a massive dome somewhere inland of the landing pad. inside it is warm, even with the falling red sun, and smells sticky and sweet with spices. finn didn’t know how hungry he was until he smelled it. poe laughs at him when his stomach growls, and even their chauffeurs spare a quiet giggle at his expense. it doesn’t bother him, just sits warm under his ribs.

they are maneuvered onto cushions made of thick, spongy moss, claws catching on their clothing as they are gently steered around circles of stones on the floor. after a brief debate, their hosts win poe over and make sure they get the pleasure of serving them dinner. poe leans in close, close enough that an unruly curl brushes finn’s cheek, to speak to him over the bustle of cooking and the beginning strands of music.

“don’t know what’s considered rude, so-” he nudges finn’s shoulder with his own - “guess we’re getting the whole welcome experience, buddy.”

“doesn’t seem so bad.” finn wants badly to press his lips to the top of poe’s head. he doesn’t.

poe chuckles. “certainly could be worse,” he says, straightening back up as they are approached by someone with a stark fan of white feathers growing from behind the crescent of her skull. she holds a gold gilded plate in one hand, two bright blue slices of something perched on top, and a long coil of vine in the other. she has a severe face, but smiles when poe does, which is a constant across all races, it seems to finn. she lets out a series of trills and clicks, and then actually does laugh when poe seems utterly flabbergasted, before she switches into that smooth lilting tongue. she seems to poke fun at him a little, which he takes in stride with a kind smile.

“finn, this is ashcru. she’s one of the elders,” poe says. she follows poe’s gaze and inclines her head, and finn does the same with a smile. finn lets his eyes wander to the massive cooking pots hoisted over raging fires, the dozens of uhpi people slicing fish and vegetables, their language spilling out over their lips like rainfall. he feels a little alienated, but that also feels  _ good _ , so unused to seeing and experiencing other cultures that every little thing he sees sparks enthusiasm that goes all the way up behind his eyes.

he looks back just in time to watch ashcru lay the center of the vine across poe’s left palm while he watches intently. she says something so low finn can actually feel the sweetness in her voice rather than hear it, and poe blinks before turning his gaze to finn.

“she wants us to hold hands,” he says. he bites his bottom lip, something clear and bright in his eyes, and finn nods before he even thinks about it.

they’re sitting close enough that poe doesn’t really need to reach of his hand; he just lays his hand on finn’s knee. the vine is deep, saturated blue, warm enough of a hue to compliment the rough-worn skin of poe’s palm. finn joins their hands, and poe laces their fingers together, and warmth that has nothing to do with the weather spreads through finn from that point of contact, all the way up to his cheeks.

ashcru crosses the vine over the back of finn’s hand too, and he watches, fascinated, as she wraps it around both their wrists, weaving a diamond pattern up their forearms. it’s snug enough that finn can feel the flutter of poe’s pulse against the tender skin of his wrist; can feel where the fabric of poe’s sleeve is rolled up, pressed into the crook of his elbow. finn swallows, a sudden surge of emotion choking up his lungs, making something sting in his chest. as though he can sense it, poe squeezes his hand.

as soon as ashcru ties the knot, the vine bursts into bloom; tiny purple flowers spreading from where their fingers are laced and racing up towards their elbows. poe laughs, mostly breath, entirely wonder, as the little flowers begin to glow, a gentle, whitish light, that pulse and dim with each ebb of their hearts, some in tune with finn, others with poe.

“that’s  _ awesome _ ,” poe says. he lifts his eyes to finn’s, and the light from the vine makes them look like the depths of space, seeded with light. finn stutters on a breath, but recovers enough to say  _ yeah, awesome _ . poe’s gaze lingers for long enough that finn notices, before he turns his attention back to ashcru’s serinly smiling face. they’ve gained the attention of a few other patrons, and some even chirp and click, clearly excited about something, whether it’s the lights or their presence, finn can’t be sure. 

ashcru places the plate between them, gives poe some gentle instructions, before she gets up from the floor and disappears into the crowd, her long, deep green robes trailing behind her. poe watches her go, something wide in his eyes, throat bobbing before he focuses his attention onto finn.

“apparently we have to feed these to each other,” poe says. there’s a quality in his voice that finn doesn’t recognise on him; something soft and wavering. finn swallows.

“wouldn’t want to be rude.”

poe laughs, quick, and some of the tension in his shoulders abides. “right.”

the sun is low; her light is vibrant red, painting the white roof rich pink, and taking the blue out of everything. when poe picks up a slice of fruit, it looks less like it’s actual colour and something more like light from a prism; glistening rainbows of colour. finn can feel poe’s heart rate pick up, but he doesn’t have much time to ponder it, because poe’s gentle fingers lift that slice of fruit to his lips. finn is so, so careful not to let his lips brush poe’s fingers, taking the fruit with just his teeth. poe  _ stares _ , and finn shouldn’t but he stares back, long after he’s leaned away with the fruit tucked safely between his teeth. finn wants  _ badly _ to lean back in and lick the juice from poe’s fingers. he doesn’t.

it’s sour with a strong sweet aftertaste, and finn must have made some sort of noise because poe’s eyes snap back up (when did they drop?) and he smiles, mostly in his eyes. “that good huh?” he says, and finn pulls a face.

“it’s like eating straight sugar that wants to hurt you,” finn says after he swallows, and that coerces a laugh from poe.

“alright, i’m ready.”

the fruit has a firm texture, but it’s slippery, and finn would be lying if he said he didn’t struggle for a moment to pick it up. it doesn’t help that his nerves are frying as he sits; why is he so nervous? poe is as patient as ever though, calmly waiting. by the time he’s got it poe’s eyes are pleasantly crinkled, but they smooth as finn brings the fruit to his lips. finn watches him swallow, watches as their gazes click together again. poe is not careful, and finn will think about the implications of that later, but right now the tip of poe’s tongue is against the pad of his thumb, his lips on his index finger, and finn is doing his best not to think about how soft poe’s mouth is but that proves difficult when poe drags it across his skin when he pulls away. poe still hasn’t stopped looking when his tongue darts across his lips, but finn does, if only to stare at his mouth.

“not bad,” poe breathes out after a pause. finn’s eyes fly back up.

“yeah.” 

as if on a cue, they are brought their first plate of food, and poe is the first one to break their heavy eye contact to thank their servers. finn is starting to recognize the word for  _ thank you _ , and notices poe uses it often. he doesn’t notice, however, when the light from the flowers holding them together grows, and then the pulse of it’s glow becomes cohesive, one unit, working as one.

-

they are brought many plates of food, mostly seafood and root vegetables, including a shellfish dish so spicy finn nearly cries, much to poe’s amusement. he doesn’t get to gloat long, because he’s brought a drink so strong he nearly spits it out.

there are other pairs bound together as they are, scattered about the hall. leaning shoulders together, touching, feeding each other scraps of food off their plates. poe’s warmth is solid and constant as his side, feeling altogether more intimate than anything finn had experienced in his previous life. the only affection he was allowed to show was a quick press of foreheads between troopers, so on a whim he leans in and does the very same gesture to poe. instantly, poe’s free hand comes up to cradle the back of his neck, and it ends up longer than anything that would have been allowed in the first order. but this isn’t the first order. he can stay here for as long as poe will let him.

“thanks for bringing me,” finn says quietly. he feels more than hears the soft chuckle poe makes.

“‘course, buddy. couldn’t leave my best guy at home.”

someone gets poe’s attention, so he leans back fast enough that he hopefully can’t feel how finn’s face burns immediately. something hot curls in finn’s belly but it doesn’t feel bad; it feels like being wanted, and he desperately wants to chase it. already, love has begun to open things in finn he didn’t know existed; the gentleness he carries in his bones, his compulsion to do the right thing. he wants to belong to something that nurtures those traits. he thinks he might.

a bright flash snaps him to attention again, followed quickly by an intoxicating smell. poe had been offered something to smoke, expertly lit with a bit of flint and steel. he thanks the person that brought it to him, gently rolled paper dangling between his lips, before he holds it with his free hand and takes a deep breath, the faint sound of burning only audible to finn because of how close they are sitting. it means that finn hears the deeply satisfied noise poe makes before he exhales, taking the smoke from his lips and looking at it. finn does his best not to think of what that noise does to his blood.

“do you even know what that is?” finn asks.

“no, but it’s fixing all my problems at the moment,” poe says, bringing it back to his lips. credits are scarce in the resistance, but the barter system is strong. finn was surprised to find out that small plants were well sought after, but the most valuable item one could trade away was dessert tickets. directly after that was cigarettes. poe doesn’t smoke often, and tries to hide what he calls a ‘nasty habit’, but finn finds he doesn’t mind. usually, the smell is bad, but whatever poe is smoking right now smells sweet and earthy, and finn finds himself watching the line of poe’s shoulder, the particular curl of his fingers; the way he only really uses the right side of his mouth to smoke.

he’s caught, of course, watching. poe just smiles though, lopsided, around the paper in his mouth. he takes another deep drag, then holds it out to finn with raised eyebrows, slowly releasing his breath, the smoke caught up in it.

“wanna try?”

finn looks from poe’s kind eyes to his offering. he nods, pulse fluttering, before he leans a takes a drag straight from poe’s fingers. he’s a bit bolder this time, lips just touching the edge of poe’s grasp. he swears he hears poe’s breath hitch, but he doesn’t flinch, holds steady and fast before finn pulls back and immediately starts coughing. poe laughs, a little strangled. still, the taste was smokey sweet, even if finn’s lungs didn’t appreciate it nearly as much as his tongue did.

“you okay?” poe asks. he doesn’t quite meet finn’s gaze, staring off towards where some of the tied pairs are starting to sway in a slow dance. finn nods.

“yeah. still don’t know how you can do that without dying, though.”

poe chuckles, bringing the smoke back to his mouth. the cherry flaring brings stark contrast to his face, warm light and shadow. “teenage rebellion.”

finn snorts. “you? please.”

smoke curls from poe’s nose when he laughs this time, and that actually makes him pull a face. “you’re right. l’ulo slipped me my first pack of smokes when i was, i dunno, twenty-one?”

“yeah, that sounds better.”

poe grins, all laugh lines and teeth, before leaning his weight into finn, resting his head on his shoulder. he smokes lazily as they watch the people laugh and dance; watch how freely they give their affection - holding hands and touching faces almost as part of the way their language works - and things settle, thick and warm, over the cavity of finn’s chest. how right things could be, sometimes. how unused to it he is.

-

poe falls asleep against finn’s shoulder, some combination of the long flight over and whatever he smoked making him drowsy. he wakes, and finn is diligently watching the crowd, eating and dancing and singing, and his eyes are  _ wanting _ , lower lip caught between his teeth. there’s an ache in poe’s chest that never really goes away around finn, and it tightens it’s hold for a moment, before he sits up and distracts finn from his people watching.

“you fell asleep.”

“astute observation.” poe rubs his eyes with his free hand, fizzling static in his mind. finn snorts and jostles him with his shoulder, and poe’s face spreads into a grin.

“we should probably turn in,” he says. finn hums his agreement.

as it turns out, getting up while they’re both bound to the elbows takes a lot more coordination than they thought, and by the time they get up via an awkward dance of squatting and standing hunched over and pulling each other over more than once, ashcru is back. her black eyes reflect the firelight so luminously they look unnaturally orange. 

“do you wish to be unbound, but not apart?”

something in the way she says it makes poe’s breath stick in his throat. “yes please.”

at her hip is a sickle-shaped knife, and she draws it fluidly, with confidence. finn actually tenses, hardwired fighter instincts no doubt leaping into gear, and poe squeezes his hand until some of that tension abides. ashcru waits too, and then touches the tip of the knife between their elbows. it’s so sharp the vine splits from it, unspooling from them like something laid to rest. they are left joined by laced fingers, leathery vine pressed between their hands. when they let go of one another, it feels like there is something missing.

ashcru takes the vine and curls it back up in her hand. she smiles, and looks pointedly at where finn and poe’s hands were joined. poe looks down, and brings his arm to the light. where the vine was sitting his arm is stained soft pink, half a diamond pattern tattooed to his skin, crossing his palm, framing the thin skin on his wrist. poe’s eyes snap up and finn is doing the same. the mark is much more obvious on his dark skin, and his eyes are wide and curious, filled with wonder, and when they meet poe’s they are also warm and soft. 

poe aches with a want he can’t have.

-

on uhpi, dark night is a thing of myth; the sky is so full with stars it’s just as bright as day, just silver instead of gold. finn won’t stop staring up at them, smile wide and open and free, and in turn, poe can’t stop staring at him.

“you haven’t been paired long, no?” their host, nuvumu, asks, their tone smooth and sly. poe gives them a sideways glance.

“not long, no. this is our first time off d’qar together, if you don’t count when he saved my life.”

“ah, so he’s a hero,” nuvumu nods sagely, like that only makes sense. poe chews on his lip before he says  _ yeah, he is. to me, at least _ , and that seems to satisfy nuvumu for the time being.

the houses are up in the trees, so they have to climb. it seems that, in their hospitality, the uhpi had installed ladders for them, because nuvumu scales the side of the tree with no effort and a smug quirk of their lips while finn and poe have to shoulder their packs and climb up wooden slats haphazardly tacked to the trunk.

the home in circular, hugging the trunk of the tree, and they enter through a hatch in the floor. nuvumu welcomes them, tells them to ask for anything if they need it, and then makes a suspiciously speedy escape. there’s no walls, just one large, open space with the trunk of the tree growing through the center.

“not a lot of privacy, huh?” finn says. he’s right. there’s even a washing tub tucked against a wall, fully visible.

“if it’s a problem we can always see to something tomorrow.” poe sounds distracted, even to himself, because his slightly addled brain has focused in on a very  _ glaring  _ fact; there was a bed made of the same super soft moss from before, piled high with finely woven blankets. a bed. one. and sure, after a nightmare they’ve often dozed off in the same bunk, but something feels  _ different _ after all the events of dinner; if poe thinks about it for even a second he can vividly recall how finn’s mouth felt on his fingers.

“it’s not a problem.” finn’s voice is quiet. poe swallows. he wanders over and drops his pack close to one edge of the bed. there’s a small jar there, and poe quirks an eyebrow at it before he picks it up. he doesn’t need to even open it; the smell is enough for him to know exactly what it is. they had the same or similar on yavin four, and poe reels from it fast, and contemplates dropping it out the window before he can think about  _ using _ it with his current company, face burning.

“hey poe?”

poe slaps the jar back into it’s rightful place. “ye-” his voice cracks horribly; he tries again - “yeah, buddy?”

“come look at this.”

so poe wanders over to his side, where he stares out the huge window that takes up almost half the wall space. they’re high up; other treetops kneel before them, their backs sprouting red sand, the colour of blood in the ghostly light. the sea doesn’t look blue, or black, like it does on d’qar; it looks like liquid silver, millions of stars lighting it up. it rolls, clear as day, smooths out against the beach.

“that’s quite the view,” poe says. finn doesn’t say anything, but he does brush his fingers against the back of poe’s hand, and it’s barely second nature of him to slot their palms together.

the marks on their arms align together perfectly. they bloom in warmth that cycles through poe’s body over and over again.

-

in the night, finn lays awake while poe sleeps. it had been almost  _ hard _ to get poe to sleep in the same space (“i can sleep on the floor.” “don’t you dare! we’d never get you up off the floor, old man.”) and maybe finn was selfish to want it, but he did. now, in the silver light, the most alluring thing is the shape of poe’s shoulder-blade, the slope of his neck, and finn  _ wants _ and  _ wants _ and  _ wants _ .

-

the days and nights on uhpi are shorter than standard days, so finn wakes up to the red sun beating into the house after what feels like he just shut his eyes. he huffs, and flings an arm out in exasperation, and hits warm skin. poe grunts and jolts awake, and finn snatches his hand back.

“sorry.”

“eh, ‘bout time to get up anyways.”

poe rolls into his back and stretches his arms above his head, arching his back until something cracks. finn is tired, and spent the whole night with poe’s warmth at his side, so he doesn’t think too hard about the fact he’s staring, but he does think about the flutter of poe’s eyelashes and the bow in his top lip. his hair is wild, and he’s got circles under his eyes, but finn has just woken up, and in that haze he can’t help but think he’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

eventually, after his usual amount of lamentation, poe rolls to his feet, and finn joins him. he rakes a hand through his hair until it does something presentable, splashes water on his face and gets changed, and finn pointedly watches the lazy roll of the ocean through the window.

poe gives him a tap on the shoulder as he goes by. “i’m gonna go see the land they’re willing to donate, chat up some negotiations. wanna come?”

-

the morning meal is clearly less of an ordeal than dinner; there are less people in the hall, and they were actually allowed to grab their food and eat it themselves. they have a deliciously thick caf that almost tastes like chocolate, and finn drinks maybe a cup too many, because it is also  _ very _ strong.

nuvumu takes them to meet reasavi at a wide clearing on the summit of a cliff, overlooking the sea. they’re acting very coy, and if there’s one thing finn has learned it’s that poe’s body language doesn’t change between languages. there’s a twitch in the corner of his mouth, and his ears are a little red, and his tone is a little sharp, but nuvumu just grins, pointed teeth in a pale face, much to poe’s exasperation.

there are many people on the hill, harvesting long grasses. finn recognizes it quickly; it’s the same stuff their blankets are made of, strong and soft. reasavi opens their arms wide when they see poe, fingers curling in on themselves, both thumbs crossed across their palms.

they lead them around the space - it’s massive, ground too rocky for the trees to grow - while poe gently translates so that finn doesn’t feel too left out. he tells them of the first order oppression they had recently overthrown, and the reason nothing grew back was because their hangar had sat there long enough that everything had died underneath. what better way to donate the land than to the resistance?

when they start negotiations, poe stops translating with a bit of a guilty look, but finn doesn’t blame him. it’s most likely above his protocol. finn gives poe’s shoulder a squeeze to reassure him, and poe’s hand comes up to cover his without much thought. reasavi meets finn’s eyes, and their smile is soft and knowing. it makes finn blush.

right at the exact time finn starts to feel out of place, right when he thinks about turning and wandering off so he doesn’t feel like he’s hovering, he feels a tug at the hem of his shirt. he looks down, and big black eyes look back. the child can’t be more than ten, or uhpi equivalent, smiling up at him. satisfied she has his attention, she wraps her fingers around two of his and gives a pull. finn looks at poe, who is already smiling fondly, and who waves him off with a nod.

the children drag him off and sit him down there the forest turns into open field. their parents are there, weaving blankets, and they look up and fix their eyes on him for a moment before their eyes brighten, and their crests of feathers shimmer as they flick.

the children have curious hands - finn assumes they’ve never seen a human before - and they clutch careful fingers into his shirt; touch gently at his hair, gone coily where he’d let it grow out, free of the first order’s close crop. he is patient with them with a bright smile, and that’s an expression they happily mirror. he doesn’t understand much of their lilting language, just the words he’d heard in poe’s mouth more than once. but he understands the other parts of their language; had watched them use touch and the moments of their single row of feathers to supplement in the expressions the tough skin on their faces can’t make.

still, they start picking flowers with abandon, showing him how to weave them together with skilled fingers. he’s not very good at it, and they all laugh at the lumpy creation he makes with his hands, but it still feels good to make something. the children surprise him by wreathing him in flowers; looped around his head, stuck in his hair, woven into his clothes. he feels his heart swell, so overwhelmed with the acceptance of such strangers that he feels himself mist up. he presses a closed fist to his chest, thanking them, and they all chatter, excited until one of the older people comes over and seats himself next to finn. he’s halfway through weaving something, something long and flat and blanket-looking. he puts it on finn’s lap, eyes twinkling, before, slowly, taking finn’s hands and running them through the motions. take the reeds over and under, over and under, and finn’s furrowed brow eventually smooths out, and then breaks into a grin as he watches the blanket unfold under his careful ministrations. his teacher flashes teeth and pats him on the leg. finn likes to feel useful; maybe that’s leftover from the first order, but it’s not the time to think too hard about that right now. instead, he glances up as if drawn by a thread, and poe’s fond gaze is there to anchor him. under the gentle command of the uhpi, finn watches a blanket unravel from his fingertips; watches himself  _ create _ instead of  _ destroy _ , and feels all the way full with it; like he’s making something new of himself.

-

reasavi notices poe staring.

more likely, they notice that poe isn’t paying attention  _ at all _ , far too focused on finn, haloed in flowers, smiling like he’s never done it before as he charms the locals without even trying. poe apologizes for being rude, honestly a bit embarrassed, but reasavi’s laugh is warm and low.

“in my culture, it is a sign of good will to send two who are so closely coupled as ambassadors,” they say. there’s that word again.  _ coupled _ . it doesn’t seem quite  _ right _ in context.

“of course. we’re pretty close,” he responds slowly. reasavi gestures to poe’s bare forearm, where the pink mark from the previous night has already begun to fade.

“the soulvine took to you well. you must care for each other very much.”

poe looks from his arm, across the plain to where finn is sitting and back again. “sorry, would you remind me the significance of the soulvine again?”

they incline their head. “the vine picks up heart rate and body temperature. the more attracted the two bound are to one another, the brighter the flower’s glow, and the deeper the binding marks.”

poe swallows. his ears feel hot. “and the fruit?”

“ah. it’s a sign of good will, to feed your loved one from your hands.”

_ shit _ .

“thank you. um, my  _ partner _ and i have a few things to discuss, if you would excuse me.”

reasavi inclines their head, and poe does the same, before turning on his heel and heading straight to finn. sweet finn, who has just finished weaving a blanket and is receiving praise from the weavers in a language he doesn’t speak. he’s communicating just fine, because he’s smart and charismatic, and has learned the language of their gestures and touches already. poe can’t help but smile, despite the bird wings flapping in his chest.

“charming the locals, huh buddy?”

finn laughs, bright and open, and  _ force _ , that smile could light poe’s way through the endless depths of space ten times over. “it’s what you brought me for isn’t it? i’ve been told i’m very charming.”

“you know it, pal.” poe scrubs a hand through his hair, breaking eye contact from finn. even just that, poe know that finn understands something is off. it’s in the tilt of his head and the furrow of his brow. “can we talk? i’ve… come into some information.”

“that involves me?”

poe feels his stomach twist, like landing too quickly. “yeah, that involves you.”

finn tries to give the blanket back, but his companion refuses to take it back with a wrinkle of his nose and a flutter of his feathers. finn holds it to his chest, careful of the flowers woven into his clothes, and poe’s heart grows and grows and grows.

they make it up to the house, and as soon as poe has the hatch closed he says “i fucked up,” and turns his back to finn as soon as the confusion marrs his face.

“did the deal not go well?”

poe shakes his head, scrubs and hand through his hair, slowly turns back to face finn. “no, no that went fine. remember when i sent the transmission, right when we got here?”

“yeah?”

“okay. right. finn, i think i accidentally told them we’re a couple.”

finn is quiet. for once, poe can’t identify the look in his eyes so he presses on: “i think i tried to tell them we were a couple of resistance fighters, i think i said a  _ couple _ , you know? the languages are similar enough but some words mean different things and -”

“it doesn’t bother me,” finn says, softly, like it might be secret. poe’s mouth snaps shut. hope blooms in his chest, aching, and he tamps it down with practiced feet.

“really?”

finn gives a half shrug. there’s  _ something _ tugging at the corner of his mouth, but poe can’t tell if it’s a smile or a grimace. “does it help with the mission?”

it’s like a punch to the gut. “yeah. yeah, actually, it’s a show of good will to send a couple as ambassadors.”

finn nods. “okay. i’d suggest we keep up the cover then. we wouldn’t want them thinking we lied to them.

“right.” poe’s voice is a croak. he clears his throat, his heart hammering against his lungs. “that’s a good idea.”

“unless you’re uncomfortable with it?”

“no, no! i’m good. how hard could it be, if we’ve got them all convinced anyways?”

finn laughs, something tight in his throat, and says  _ yeah _ like an afterthought. something hotter than shame burns away in poe’s stomach, and this time no amount of dirt or water can put it out. poe has been in a tailspin since he met finn, and finn has always been the ground. it’s only a matter of time before poe finds out if he’ll be his salvation, or if he’s not walking away from the crash.

-

ashcru doesn’t bind them at dinner. she tells poe, rather proudly, that their marks haven’t even faded yet, not as much as they do on most couples. the joining was, ultimately their choice, and with a quick sidelong glance poe tells her that they will forgo it this evening.

there’s something slightly stilted between them now, since earlier that afternoon. finn doesn’t quite look at poe right; over his shoulder or somewhere between his feet, but he’s still oddly needy for contact. they sit pressed together from hip to shoulder, and poe’s used to the heat but he’s close enough to see the sweat bead at finn’s temples.

they feed each other from their hands like it’s the most natural thing in the world, though; it even coaxes a smile out of finn, gifts poe with just a fraction of that burning eye contact that they shared last time. poe’s just finished giving finn some sort of bread from between his fingers when finn’s hand comes up to cradle his. he presses a soft kiss to poe’s palm and everything else drops away so suddenly it’s like poe’s pulled his chute; he can feel his heartbeat ricochet, feel his eyes get big and round. finn lets him splay his fingers over his cheek, smooth and soft skin against his fingertips. finn squeezes his eyes shut.

“baby -” the endearment slips out of poe’s mouth without his permission; finn’s eyes open, but he presses on like it didn’t happen, even though his ears feel like they’re on fire - “what’s wrong?”

poe can feel finn’s face heat up. “nothing,” he says, right up against where poe’s thumb has migrated to his lips. despite the flutter in poe’s chest, he manages to lift an eyebrow. finn sighs. “it’s - it’s something. but i can’t - i’m not ready to talk about it.” 

poe closes the meager distance between them to gently bump their foreheads together, and some of the tension shivers away from finn just from that familiar act of comfort. “alright. no worries.”

poe smooths away his own worry, where it sits uncomfortable on his chest. finn would tell him if this was freaking him out. and it’s not like they’re doing anything they wouldn’t usually; poe knows he’s tactile.  _ everyone _ knows he is. but he wouldn’t be mad at finn if he never wanted to touch again, after this. because poe hasn’t exactly been subtle about his feelings; he knows that too.

they don’t stay at dinner long - finn nods off against his shoulder - and when they go up to the room they are both quiet. poe curls around himself to try and quench the ache in his chest, and doesn’t turn when finn lays beside him.

-

the first order had kinder tortures than this.

-

finn doesn’t scream awake like poe does.

he thinks it’s from having to share such close quarters for most of his life with people who wouldn’t understand the lament of a child. when poe has a nightmare, it’s usually something like this; l’olo’s ship exploding overhead; kylo ren prying his way into his mind; a faceless stormtrooper killed by his blaster having finn’s face instead.

finn is quiet. poe can never tell what he’s dreaming about, but he knows the first order well enough that it’s nothing good. they’re well enough versed that poe wakes at the first restless shuffle of finn’s body, the first hiccuping breath. even the gentlest of touches is enough to rouse him from sleep, even the softest voice, so poe lets himself be soft as he curls cautious fingers over his shoulder and calls his name.

and finn lurches awake, flailing, and poe leans away, well practiced, until finn’s wild eyes and focused on him instead of dark shadows and the phantom of whatever his mind had come up with this silver night.

“poe?”

poe’s heart squeezes at how small finn’s voice is. “yeah buddy, it’s me. you’re alright.”

finn sighs a shuddering breath, leans his face into his hands and just breathes, exactly how he was taught by the medidroids back on the base. poe props himself up on his elbows, watching the slow expansion of finn’s ribs, chewing a lip in his worry.

in the beginning, finn used to get up and wander the base, alone and scared, for fear of bothering poe. now, after a few minutes of breathing, a few minutes of paranoid eyes staring into shadows, finn turns to poe. he seems to search for something. for some unwillingness, but he won’t find it on any line of poe’s body. the white light from outside frames finn’s face, caresses the curves of his cheek; poe can see clearly when he swallows something down.

the first touch is at poe’s wrist, and poe opens his arms up and finn slots himself against his side. poe wraps an arm around his shoulders and pulls him snug, dropping his lips to his temple, his hair. finn still has a shake to him, so poe splays and hand between his shoulder blades, and feels the ridge of scar tissue under his palm. finn puts a hand on poe’s chest, tucks his nose into his neck, and stays quiet for a long time. 

“do you ever worry about me being a stormtrooper?” finn’s voice is soft; he’d let go of fear and moved onto melancholic wonder. “i know it makes some people uncomfortable. they don’t trust me.”

“buddy, i trust you,” poe says with half a laugh, “i’ve trusted you since the first time i lay eyes on you. with my  _ life _ , even. wouldn’t have made it off that star destroyer if i didn’t.”

finn’s quiet for a moment. “can i ask why?”

“huh?”

“you had no reason to trust me. i could have been leading you to your death. why did you?”

poe stares up; the stars are so bright and abundant that their white light filters through the wide leaves making up the roof. “i had a good feeling.”

poe feels finn’s mouth curve against his neck; he doesn’t think about it too hard, though longing kicks at his ribs. “now if only you could convince everyone else.”

poe scoffs, a rare show of disdain. the resistance is his family, but he’s seen how weary some of them get around finn; heard the comments, seen the looks. if they just took the  _ time _ to talk to him they’d see it too; the kind, brave man - the hero - he is. “not my fault if they don’t know their damn history.”

finn props himself up, a crease between his brows. he’s close, moulded to poe’s side, and poe has the courtesy to only look at his lips for a little bit before he says “you know about rogue one?”

finn nods. “they stole the plans for the death star, right?”

“someone does his homework.”

finn’s smile is so small and soft in the starlight. “what about them?”

“i wanna tell you about one of them.”

finn rests his chin on poe’s chest, blinking up at him. “okay.”

“i wanna tell you about their pilot, specifically.”

even in the night, poe can see finn roll his eyes, albit fondly. “i can see how you’d like them.”

“shut up.” poe chuckles. he sobers quickly, reaches out to cradle the soft angle of finn’s jaw in his palm, watching finn’s dark eyes grow intent and curious. “his name was bodhi rook. he defected from the empire. without him, we wouldn’t have been able to get those plans. we would have been annihilated. he was a  _ hero _ . just like you.”

finn’s eyes are wide. he bites his lip, swallows; poe’s a little afraid he might cry. he doesn’t say anything. poe strokes a thumb under his eye.

“proportionally, defectors from massive totalitarian regimes have saved the galaxy quite a lot.”

that makes finn snort on a laugh, and drop his head to poe’s chest. poe lets that hand slip into finn’s hair, and feels himself relax when finn winds an arm around his waist.

“thanks poe,” he says eventually, low and soft. poe doesn’t know why, but his heart constricts.

“‘course, buddy. that’s what friends are for.”

-

poe’s pretty sure finn doesn’t sleep much, but he fell asleep shortly after they fell into silence. he wakes to the sun warm on his face, finn warm at his back, feeling sluggish in contentment. he weaves his fingers into the ones dangling across his stomach.

“morning,” finn says. his voice rough. poe just grumbles sleepily in response. the day is still new; then poe finally opens his eyes and turns over under finn’s arm, finn’s face is gilded, golds and soft whites highlighting his skin. he’s close, and poe puts a hand on finn’s chest and leans in to rest his forehead against his. his eyes drift shut again.

“poe?”

“mm?”

“get up.”

poe groans, rolls onto his back, burying his eyes in the crook of his elbow. “this planet’s cycle is messin’ me up, man.”

“well -” finn voice sounds a little sad, and that makes poe drop his arm and look at him - “we’re only here for another day or so right?”

“yeah.”

finn licks his lips, looks elsewhere. “i’m gonna wash up. i’ll meet you down there?”

when finn gets up, poe studies the faint pink mark winding up his arm. “yeah. meet you down there.”

-

finn is used to an intense twice daily hygiene routine, so poe isn’t surprised when he doesn’t see him for a couple of hours. he’s just been sending transmission after transmission back to d’qar from the cockpit of the freighter they flew over anyways, doing his best not to fall asleep.

finn pokes his head in every once and awhile, but he doesn’t stay on cramped ships for longer than he needs to be. he spent his whole life without touching ground. poe gets that, even if he doesn’t feel fully alive unless his spinning through open space in a starfighter.

poe mourns the loss of time they could spend together, but he has to remind himself that this isn’t a vacation; they’re not truly  _ coupled _ , whatever that term means to the uhpi. he catches the faded mark on his arm more than once, and aches for it. something in him doesn’t want it to end, even if the thought is unfounded; they’ve changed basically nothing. they’ll come out the other side of this, and it will go back to normal. maybe he doesn’t want it to. maybe that’s selfish of him. the feeling winds up his throat, holds his tongue. he’ll have to say something about it sometime; have to tell finn how the love chokes him up. but maybe he’ll let himself be selfish, just for a little while. he’ll let himself have it, if only for a moment.

-

by the time poe is done, the sun is already sinking in the sky. the uhpi people were used to the quick sleep cycle but poe is decidedly not.

he finds finn amidst a crowd, many people crowded around him. figures he’d be able to charm them without speaking a lick of the language, and even just that brightens the edges of poe enough that he doesn’t feel quite so tired anymore.

finn’s breathing in the culture, steeping in it; poe likes to see how bright his eyes get when he sees something new and this is no exception. poe can’t help but mirror finn’s grin as he spots him, his face elaborately painted, gold shimmer on his cheeks, white lines stark against his skin, framing his eyes. gently clawed hands touch at the slope of his cheeks, touch curiously at his hair, framed by a wreath of red leaves. as soon as they spot poe they part, and one of them even gives finn a little push. it’s nuvumu, and their black eyes are knowing, their mouth sly.

“enjoying yourself?” poe asks, taking both finn’s hands, and it’s natural to draw him in. finn nods, something sweet in his eyes, weaving his fingers through poe’s. 

“i think they like me.”

“‘course they do.” poe grins. “good thing i brought you along, huh? i’m pretty sure reasavi thinks i’m dumb as a post.”

finn snorts, shoving his shoulder against poe’s as they are ushered into the dining hall by the group of chattering uhpi. “someone has to do the thinking around here.”

“hey.”

there’s no blow to poe’s pride, only blossoming warmth as finn grins at him. he slings an arm over poe’s shoulders to give him a good natured shake, and poe can’t help but notice that touch linger along the length of his arm when finn pulls away. something like hope flutters in his chest.

the cooking fires mold the light into something yellow and warm inside the hall, and poe drags finn into their usually sitting place. ashcru is on them as soon as they arrive it seems, baring her throat in greeting.

“do you wish to be bound in body as you are in spirit?”

poe doesn’t have time to respond; finn holds out his hand to ashcru, his face soft but something decidedly determined in his eyes. her fan of feathers flattens out, and her ancient eyes glitter happily in the flickering light.

“guess that’s a yes,” poe says.

ashcru starts with finn first, laying the middle of the vine across his palm, crossing it over the back of his hand, murmuring in a language so old it sounds like dust. she doesn’t even have to move her eyes and poe is reaching for finn’s hand, twining fingers together. ashcru isn’t even finished weaving them together when the flowers begin to bloom, and she’s barely let go before they begin to glow. their pale light glimmers off the paint on finn’s face, lighting up his eyes, and poe can’t really look away, not for a good long while.

it’s only been three days but they’re well versed i feeding each other at this point; that seems to be a centerfold of affection here. poe is busy watching another couple take food from each other’s fingers, so finn has to clear his throat to get his attention.

the fruit is sickly sweet and tastes better coming off finn’s skin. poe can’t miss the way finn’s pulse quickens against the inside of his wrist, the way finn’s eyes dart to his mouth when poe drags his teeth over his lower lip. maybe poe’s hope isn’t unfounded; maybe there’s some logistics to it. he remembers in that moment reasavi telling him how the vine works, and something clicks. it would have to go both ways to work properly - it wasn’t some embarrassment that he’ll have to live with through the rest of his days, ungracefully pining like a teenager with a crush.

he doesn’t get much time to think about it, because finn is bolder this time; he takes the fruit from poe’s fingers, catches poe’s wrist with his free hand and goes back in to lick the remnants off his skin. the bustle of the dining hall abruptly fizzles out, narrows down to the glint in finn’s eyes and the warmth of his lips as he presses a kiss to those knuckles. something hot slips into his throat and all he can do is swallow it down, words escaping him.

“poe?”

poe’s voice is barely there. “yeah?”

finn seems to struggle for a moment, throat working, mouth open, eyes somewhere else, before he says “i don’t want to leave.” and he must see the hurt flash across poe’s face, the hot stab of rejection that lances through his chest at the thought of having to leave finn behind on this planet, before finn shakes his head and kisses the inside of poe’s wrist and says “that came out wrong,” leaning his cheek against poe’s fingers until they bloom open to hold him.

poe’s heart is a rolling thunder in his chest, and he knows that finn must be able to hear it. but still he waits, waits like a man with the patience of a pilot. he watches finn gather himself back up, completely unaware of what’s going on around them. the servers haven’t tried to bring them anything; they can sense the charge in the air, like a ship about to break through the atmosphere.

“what i’m trying to say is -” finn starts again, lifting his head abruptly - “is that i want us to stay like this. i want us to stay like this ‘cause i want to wake up to you in the morning and hold your hand all the time. i don’t want us to  _ change _ , and so i don’t want to leave. does that make sense?”

poe is very deliberate when he cups finn’s cheek again. “finn. nothing’s gonna change when we get home, ‘cause nothing really changed when we got here.” poe swallows down the butterflies that suddenly beat at his chest. “‘cause i loved you before we got here, so, i’ll love you long after we leave.”

finn’s face goes slack, and there’s one horrible second in which poe thinks he’s read the situation  _ all wrong _ , and he’s about to withdraw away in fold into the pit he can feel stirring in his chest. but just before that darkness can grow finn’s face lights up, smile better than binary suns.

“you love me?” he sounds so hopefully poe can’t fight the smile.

“yeah, buddy. i love you.” 

finn’s laugh is half delirious and better than fresh rain; he squeezes poe’s hand where they’re joined together and uses the other to touch his jaw, under his eye; fingers migrating into curls and thumb to lips. finn doesn’t need to say it back - poe doesn’t expect him to - the relief on his face says it for him. poe feels like he might burst, untying nerves replaced with something overwhelming, almost enough for the burning behind his eyes to spill over.

when the euphoria dies down finn simmers to elated, some bashfulness on the curve of his mouth. his eyes soften when poe turns his head to nuzzle into his palm, eyes still locked on finn so he doesn’t miss it.

“i wanna kiss you so bad,” he says eventually, like it’s a secret. every cell in poe’s body wants that, too, so he presses his lips to finn’s palm, the inside of his wrist, feels his pulse flutter underneath the thin skin there.

“ _ please _ ,” poe says with the beginnings of a laugh, “before i go crazy thinking about it.”

so finn cradles poe’s jaw in his hand and kisses underneath it, poe’s cheek, the corner of his mouth, letting poe turn his head to kiss him more fully. finn tastes of the binding fruit, kisses sweet enough that it makes poe’s teeth hurt. poe cups the back of finn’s skull, draws him closer, deeper, already willing to become pliant and open himself up for finn to feel it all.

they only draw back when they find out that the wolf whistle is a galactic constant, and if poe makes a pitiful noise in the back of his throat at the loss of contact, finn doesn’t mention it.

it was nuvumu who had called at them, and poe is starting to suspect they know more about the  _ real _ situation than they let on. they flash their bright green feathers, smile the smarmiest grin poe’s seen in a good long while, and slink off into the crowd. poe laughs, soft and a little delirious, and he’s the one to press their foreheads together this time, and he can feel the adoration vibrating off of finn like a star.

“that was well overdue,” poe says. finn huffs, smiling, and tilts his face to peck a curved kiss against poe’s lips.

“yeah, i think so too.” it’s all finn can get out before poe drags him in for another kiss, and another, and another, until finn breathes a noise into his mouth. finn chuckles and pulls away, tongue darting out to lick poe’s taste from his lips, and poe feels fire swoop in his belly, however briefly. “we’re in public.”

“we should rectify that,” poe murmurs, fingers trailing against the curve of finn’s jaw, the side of his neck, the dip before his collarbone. it’s true that they’ve gained a little attention, a few sly smiles. finn grabs poe’s wandering hand and kisses his knuckles again, disrupting it’s path, before letting it drop.

“food first,” he says, voice playfully chastising. poe pouts, but it shifts to a smile quick enough, filled to the brim with a happiness so strong he can’t keep it off his face. 

poe finds he can’t quite keep his hands to himself; after years of holding back he can only helplessly keep his knuckles pressed to the outside of finn’s knee at the very least. 

they eat from each other’s hands and eventually are dragged up to dance something slow and sweet, even as finn says  _ i don’t know how _ and poe says  _ don’t worry, i’ll teach you _ . and it’s slow and swaying, standing in a circle of flat stones, poe’s nose tucked into finn’s neck and just breathing him in, just holding him with an arm around his waist and finn’s over his shoulder. the flowers twining them together glow bright and brilliant, casting sharp shadows over the both of them, and in a thousand worlds and countless memories there’s nowhere poe would rather be than right here, right now.

-

by the time poe whispers  _ wanna head up? _ into finn’s ear it’s already later than he thought they would manage. ashcru unbinds them, something knowing in her eyes, and finn does his best not to show her he’s blushing, but she knows. the mark the vine leaves behind is a vibrant, stunning pink, much brighter than last time. poe stares at his arm for a moment, a slow grin on his face, before taking finn’s hand once again.

when they get to their room, finn pauses to kiss poe senseless against the trunk of the tree, letting him feel the softness of his body against his own. he slips his fingers into poe’s hair and drinks in his sigh, revels in the way poe’s hands come up so easily to cradle his face. by the time finn pulls back and poe’s eyes flutter open they’re dazed and dark, folded up at the corners, and love is a hot ache at the center of finn’s chest.

“if you don’t knock that off we won’t even get up there,” poe says, humour on his voice. finn snorts, leans in for one more kiss, just because he can, before he turns and hops up the ladder. he doesn’t need to check and see if poe is following him.

as soon as the hatch is closed, poe’s hands are on finn’s hips, crowding him against the curved wall, kissing the breath out of him. poe’s just that much shorter that finn has to angle his face down but it’s fine because it’s  _ perfect _ , and finn doesn’t waste time getting his hands on poe; the cut of his jaw, gentle on his neck, his shoulders, his back. just as poe kisses his mouth open finn’s hands reach his ass, and poe laughs, breathless, and rocks up onto his toes against the pressure, pressing flush up against finn.

“find something you like?” he says, his mouth on finn’s jaw. finn tips his head back against the wall, and poe takes that as in invitation, lips and tongue and a gentle hint of teeth at the bob of finn’s throat. finn’s eyelids flutter.

“i’ve had  _ dreams _ , man,” he says. poe stops, tucks his face into finn’s shoulder and shakes with laughter. finn can’t help but join him, slipping his hands back up to hold poe close.

“hated to see me go, loved to watch me leave, huh?”

finn nips poe’s earlobe. “don’t make fun of me.”

“i’d be a hypocrite anyways.” poe’s hands slide up finn’s sides, over his chest, smooth over his shoulders. “‘cause  _ damn _ .”

finn snorts, uses one hand to hold the back of poe’s skull as he dots a kiss to his temple. they’re quiet for a little while, waiting for their blood to cool off. eventually poe backs off just enough to look finn in the eyes, and by whatever gods are real, he’s gorgeous; mouth kissed red and hair wild. he bites a lip and looks finn over, and that’s all finn needs to drag him in again, lick into his mouth and drink in the pleased noise he makes.

and he backs him up, slowly, carefully; uses an arm to help ease him back onto their bed of moss until finn can climb on top of him. it’s poe’s hands that are everywhere this time, leaving sparks in their wake up finn’s arms, digging in at his shoulders, oh so gentle where the scar on finn’s back is; a wide palm over the ridge of scar tissue, like he’s asking for some sort of forgiveness, even though he’s not the one that put it there.

finn finds a good spot on poe’s neck, right where his pulse throbs hard against his skin, and sets his teeth there, just gently, just enough to have poe sigh his name. it’s better than any song he’s ever heard, even if he can probably count that number. poe tilts his head; he hasn’t shaved as much as he usually does and the beginnings of a beard are rough against finn’s lips. poe fists one hand in finn’s shirt and the other is a bit desperate on the back of his neck; poe wastes no time slipping his tongue into finn’s mouth as soon as they reconnect. one of finn’s hands splays on poe’s belly, but when it tries to migrate down it’s caught in a soft grip.

“easy there, big guy,” poe says, right up against finn’s mouth. there’s a twist of anxiety that doesn’t get to be fully realized because poe kisses him again, sweeter than the last, and rests their foreheads together. poe is panting, out of breath, but smiling too, even though he hasn’t bothered opening his eyes again.

“sorry, i should’ve asked.”

poe huffs a soft laugh, his voice roughed out, and brings that hand up to his mouth to kiss. “s’okay.” his eyes open, not all the way, but even shuttered half shut finn can see how unfocused and dark they are. he looks like how finn feels. “i won’t lie to you, i’m uh, a little overwhelmed.”

finn nods. “yeah, okay.”

“when we get back to base, though -” poe stretches up, kisses finn long and deep and slow, before breaking off - “i’m gonna make you feel so good, sweetheart.”

heat coils low in finn’s belly. he swallows. “yeah?”

poe hums, and finn can feel the vibration, they’re so close. “yeah.” he reaches to cup finn’s face, strokes his thumbs under his eyes, his own suddenly very determined. “i’m gonna be so  _ fucking _ good to you.”

and finn knows those words aren’t about sex; they’re not even about  _ things _ , really. it’s about what finn doesn’t have,  _ hasn’t _ had - things the first order took from him, things it never gave him. and poe laying underneath him saying, so purposely, that he wants to give it all back. and poe’s thumb is there and ready to catch the tear that slips free, and he doesn’t say anything about it, just gathers finn close and lets him tuck his face into his neck.

-

they fall asleep after finn struggles out of his shirt because  _ it’s hotter than a rancor’s asshole _ and poe does too just because he can. with so much skin on skin finn feels closer to poe than he ever has to anyone else, and his sleep in that silver night is deep and dark and restful, pinned close to poe’s chest by a protective arm around his middle.

-

when finn wakes, poe is already looking at him.

he clearly hasn’t been awake long; his eyes are sleepy, half shut, but the sunlight catches them so they turn leatherbound brown, and they’re steady. and they crinkle when he notices finn’s awake, and poe rolls onto his side to get closer to finn, slinging an arm over his waist.

“morning, handsome,” poe says, his voice scratchy. finn feels his face heat, but also a flutter in his chest.

“laying it on a bit thick with the pet names, poe.”

“want me to stop?”

finn grins, suddenly full of affection for this man, and mirrors him. “not really.”

poe smiles, and  _ stars _ , he looks so happy it makes finn  _ hurt _ . poe presses a kiss to finn’s shoulder. “baby.” another to the dip of his neck. “darling.” another to the corner of finn’s mouth, even if it’s laughing. “sweetheart.”

“ _ sap _ .” still, finn doesn’t protest when poe shifts over him and brackets his neck with the gentlest of touches and kisses him, slow and sleepy.

“you’re gonna have to deal with it for a while, bud. i’ve been looking to say all sorts of things to you for quite a while.”

finn’s sigh is fake. it makes poe’s eyes sparkle. “what a hardship.” finn’s touch is soft when it comes to rest against poe’s collarbone, feels the silk skin stretched over the stone of bone; runs his fingertips along that ridge until it hits the chain of the necklace exposed around poe’s neck. the ring dangles between them, resting on the center of finn’s chest. the day is still early, but the uhpi get up with the sun, and their bustle is starting to reach their ears. neither move. finn just watches poe watch him like he’s seeing stars and space again, and he’s never felt so flayed open and so safe at the same time. it makes his heart beat fast.

“i think you’re falling for me, dameron,” he says, some foolish attempt to water down the feelings welling up inside him. poe hums, finding finn’s fingers and twinning his own with them, resting his chin on his chest.

“nah, i know what falling feels like,” poe says, his voice uncharacteristically quiet, “it’s crazy and it’s scary, and you don’t know what you’re going to be or where you are when you land. i know exactly who am, exactly where i am. and that’s with you.”

finn maybe chokes up a little. “by the  _ light _ , you’re corny.”

poe chuckles, bright and happy, and pushes up onto his elbows, his free hand resting on finn’s chest. “wait, i’m not done,” he says, trailing that hand up to squish finn’s face to stifle his groan. “if i was falling, you caught me before i was scared.”

finn grabs him by the hair and just kisses him, mostly just to get him to shut up (poe knows; he’s laughing against his mouth) but part because the swelling in his heart doesn’t know any other option. he wasn’t allowed to give it for so long, and finn is full of so much love.

-

they lay there for far too long, considering they need to pack, because poe just wouldn’t let finn get up, kept kissing him until finn had flipped them over and kissed all the strength out of him. poe didn’t complain, and he’s not now, obviously watching finn get dressed just like he’d wanted to for the longest time. eyes brazenly trailing over expanses of smooth, dark skin, almost entirely unmarred by scars, save for the one on his shoulder and the one slicing up his back (because stormtroopers don’t get fixed, they just die, but now is not the time for thinking about those sorts of things. now is time for love and rebirth, and poe loves finn so much he feels chyrisilistic.)

they pack up. it takes them too long through innocent touches and stopping for kisses. poe watches finn pack the blanket and watches him realize it’s  _ his _ and nearly overflows. when they finally climb down, nuvumu is there, looking a little smug, and they ask poe  _ sleep well? _ and poe doesn’t even have the humility to blush.

“well, but not much,” he responds, and nuvumu laughs, something that sounds more like a bird call than anything else.

everyone else is crowded around the freighter. ashcru is there, and she offers them both bracelets made of yellow bark. she tells them the tree will remember them, even if they can’t, and it’s those memories that will keep them with them for years and years to come. poe sincerely doubts he’ll ever forget this visit, and tells her as such, and she just smiles as wide as she can and lets her eyes drift off to finn. finn, who can’t even speak the language, but had clearly taught a few of the people his forehead touch; poe watches him go around and bump heads with several people and it just makes him alight.

poe has to tear his eyes away to smile at reasavi, whose eyes are a little knowing.

“we’ll be in touch,” poe says, and reasavi inclines their head.

“if you come back,  _ if _ you come back, will you be bringing him back with you?”

poe’s eyes drift again, to watch finn grin big and touch his forehead to a child not even twelve years old. “yeah, i probably will.”

-

in the copilot chair, finn never lets go of poe’s hand. in artificial light, the pink of their marks fade, but they still line up perfectly.

**Author's Note:**

> i think i went insane writing this. affectionately nicknamed the monster because a) it's three times longer than what i usually write and b) it's relentlessly gay
> 
> shout out to tj and sabe for tolerating me
> 
> incalyscent-writes.tumblr.com


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